


new religion

by clytemnestras



Series: fem february 2016 [6]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6114361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clytemnestras/pseuds/clytemnestras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you’ll never have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	new religion

**Author's Note:**

> written and set (rather obviously) pre-trk

  
The detriment is that he documents things.  
  
She thinks that maybe dying means memories need to be a physical part of the world or else they just erode away with your body when the insects come.  
  
(there's a little voice here that sounds like Orla, says, _morbid, Blue, good god_ and another voice, smaller, like Persephone that says _right question my love, the wrong time_ and it hardly matters that she didn't ask a question, only that her chest throbs painfully for a moment.)  
  
What's true of all mirrors is that they are natural thieves. They steal images, snatches, souls. There are long moments when it's a daylit Monmouth, just her and Noah sliding in and out of reality where she finds these things in her hands. Sketches. Diaries. Wordswordwords.  
  
She traces the mouth of a sketch with one hand and her own mouth with the other, the smooth versus the soft, a perfectly-like arch. _Oh_ , she thinks; a history of _oh_ , a softly opened mouth on an exhale like a dangerous plea - _oh_ , like she wants so desperately for even a touch of air where his mouth should be.  
  
He writes things about myth, is himself intrinsically mythic and historic. He makes Jane mean _Athena, Ariadne, Andromeda_. She is terrified by her longing to be mythic - her fear of it. Fate is for dead things and powerful beings.  
  
The myth of her is this: she will kill and she will kiss and everything comes down to an aching.  
  
Her fingers can hardly bear to leave her lips.  
  
He has planned a past of them all; Ronan's dreams inside the ether; Adam's arcane resilience; Noah's state as an inbetween. He is a king of his own fearful quest and they are not the knights at his side but the wild gods that direct his way and she wonders if that's how he sees himself, the human to their fae - always so sure she was the outsider of them when really, the world is outside but the five of them, all assured of their _otherness_ and afraid to belong.  
  
She watches herself in the mirror and sees everything reflected back. A Godliness in their touch. She writes down _future future future future future_ in an illegible scrawl and places the notebook back under Gansey's pillow.  
  
Hope is a wonderfully escapist thing; delusion is only better.

**Author's Note:**

> come chat with me on tumblr [@bohemicns](https://) if you feel so inclined


End file.
